Long-distance relationship with a soldier: reconciling love and the army

A military career often involves overseas deployments, temporary duty, extensive travel, and other times when these honorable people who fight for their country are away from home and their families.

Being married to a soldier (or having one as a spouse) is also quite a commitment, and is synonymous with a regular distance relationship whose end is difficult to predict: the return date is often unclear, and it Sometimes armed forces officers have to stay in the field longer than expected. Of course, being in a long-distance relationship with a soldier is not easy, but there are ways to better live this separation!

Guide to maintaining a long-distance relationship with a member of the military

The army, synonymous with limited means of communication

Staying in touch can be especially difficult for military couples: cell service or internet access can be spotty in some places , and living in different time zones can make it difficult to find a convenient time to talk to all.

So don’t hesitate, when it’s not possible to call each other, to leave him a voice message to give him some news, or just to say good night: he won’t see it right away, but when it’s If so, he can only experience comfort and gratitude. You can also send him images, of you, your children, your daily life… a way to erase the distance a little.

Soldier’s or officer’s wife: a particular daily life marked by fears

When your spouse is in a dangerous place, life can seem surreal . Although you have to carry on with your normal life and take the kids to football, work, the grocery store and all the other little things in life, there is one constant source of worry : wondering where your spouse is. and if he’s fine. It is important not to let yourself be devoured by this worry and to find a balance so as not to give in to constant fear.

Sometimes putting the family ahead of the army

In “distance relationship”, there is “relationship”. Even if as a soldier, a sense of duty calls you, try to find compromises to be together at least during the holidays . If you have children it may be important for them that you are present for Christmas or for their birthdays. Seeing your children grow up is an important step , for them as well as for you as parents.

Also see how much time is left on his contract: does he really want to renew it? Can’t he consider a retraining at the end of it, to see you more and enjoy your life as a couple and family?

Do activities to nurture the relationship, even at a distance from your military spouse

Be inventive, and find different activities to maintain your relationship despite the distance imposed by the army:

  • Read the same book at the same time , discuss your progress in your reading, what you think…
  • Send yourself text messages if possible to wish you a good day and a good night , even if you are in different time zones
  • Tell your spouse what’s going on at home with the children , if everything is going well at school and at your job…
  • Create fun games to pass the time
  • Leave cards and little love notes for each other . hide them in your luggage, or in a drawer at home
  • Find yourself other activities that would please you and your husband or partner!

Be understanding with each other

Take into account the other person’s busy schedules, and understand that they don’t always have time to talk to you when you want , even if it bothers you. Being in the military isn’t easy, nor is having a long-distance relationship with a military man, but it’s an honorable situation. Do everything so that your family or your relationship is not broken because of the distance.

Do not make comparisons between your two situations

Never play who is the most complicated situation . It is crucial. you don’t know what the other everyday life is like or how it feels. So remember to always make the conscious choice to be optimistic.  Remember that he knows how you feel and feels bad that he can’t do anything for you.

Similarly, do not compare with other couples who live together. I’m not jealous of them: unfortunately, that will only bring you negative feelings and won’t make the situation any better… Instead, try day after day to renew your efforts, even when it’s not easy. Tell yourself that the distance is only temporary, and be proud of your husband, who also experiences difficult things on a daily basis while serving in the army.

Stay strong for him

You are alone without his company, remember he is alone without yours . Running a household alone isn’t easy, but being in the military isn’t easy either. Stay focused on the fact that soon you will be together again , and keep that goal in your sights at all times. Don’t regret marrying the soldier you love: the distance is only temporary.

Think about all the reasons why you chose to live with this person in the first place. Remember its qualities. Of why you love it. Why it’s worth it, day after day, to commit to this relationship, despite the difficulties of having a military partner.

don’t fool him

This may be obvious, but it’s worth remembering. Many long-distance military couples cheat on their loved ones. Why ? Because everyone is starting to feel a little lonely and feeling a lack of physical contact. Don’t cheat on your partner , and don’t be ashamed to use sex toys to relieve your needs. Even if you’ve never had one before, adult toys will allow you both to live the distance better. Today, there are even remote controllable sex toys , which will bring you even closer.

Why not send yourself sexts , photos and naughty letters to rekindle the flame in your relationship despite the distance. To help you out, we’ve created this guide to making long-distance sex right . If despite all this you think of cheating on your partner, it is essential to talk about it with him before it happens : the discussion solves many things.

Treat yourself to surprises and small gifts

Send surprise parcels and letters to each other , even outside of any event such as a birthday, or postcards when you visit a new place so that your partner feels like they are traveling with you . Here you will find many romantic gift ideas and little attentions for your significant other.

If you have a family, you can also send them drawings that your child has made, and photos of him/her. It will help him to keep hope, to know who he is fighting for day after day. But it will also allow you to see your child grow up, which is sometimes complicated when you’re in the army… So do your best, at your level, to recreate this bond as best you can.

Remember that you are a couple, even from a distance!

Discuss useful decisions together for your future, big and small. Explain to your spouse what is going on in your life, and ask for their opinions and advice as you normally would if you were living together. This will bring you closer and allow you to chat like any couple.

And you, do you have to live in a long-distance relationship because of the army? How do you feel about the absence of your military husband/spouse?

Author: Erika

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