I want him/her: managing sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship

When we live hundreds or thousands of miles from each other, our sex life is bound to be affected. No question of seeing each other every weekend, or even sometimes more than once or twice a year, for budget reasons or lack of time. When you want your other half, the time apart is all the longer!

I want her/him: how to manage sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship?

The lack of sex and the desire for the other: normal things

We are human beings, and it is quite normal to feel desires, desires, needs when our spouse is distant and we are deprived of sex. Because yes, whether you are a man or a woman, when thousands of kilometers separate us from our spouse, it is natural to feel impulses and sometimes to ask questions about one’s sexuality.

Ask yourself about your desires, and talk about them

While the French press was still recently promoting Single Day, a phenomenon which consists, following a common agreement, of cheating on one’s spouse once a month, one of the important points to mention is loyalty . . Have you ever thought of doing it with someone else? But most importantly, if the answer is yes, have you talked to your spouse about it?

Because once again, as with many issues related to distance, the most important thing is to talk about it. Indeed, if you feel strong sexual desires, it is important to talk about it with your half because there is a good chance that you are not the only one in this situation. But then if you realize that you are both sexually frustrated by the distance, what can be the solutions?

 

Different conceptions of couples and sexuality

From the same problem can arise several solutions . In the case of sexual frustration, the solution will be different depending on your conception of sexuality and of the couple. There are two majorities, which respect each other and are equally worthy of each other:

  • A “traditional” vision of the couple in which people consider that if they make love, it is because they love each other, and in which the partners undertake to be faithful to each other.
  • A more “free” vision which considers that it is necessary to postpone sex and love, and in which one can authorize the other to satisfy his impulses with someone else as long as he does not is not about feelings.

This is a certain philosophy, a certain way of thinking and many people are totally opposed to it. But it is a mode of operation which is however practiced by many couples, and from which you could derive satisfaction, especially [if you live thousands of miles from each other.]

Consider a temporary non-exclusive long distance relationship

Some couples prefer to agree on a temporary agreement , and to be in a non-exclusive relationship while they can live together to return to a monogamous relationship once they live together. In this case, everyone is allowed to have sex with other people.

If you opt for this solution, be sure to discuss it beforehand and check that both people in the distance relationship really consent to it. Far too often, a person agrees to this arrangement out of spite , just so they don’t lose their partner. This is not a healthy basis for a long-distance relationship and may make you unhappy.

“Making love” from a distance, an alternative to classic sex

Of course, other alternatives exist! Sharing naughty moments and why not moments of “solitary pleasures” could please both of you. Long distance sex is in a way like regular sex. There are many diverse and varied practices that essentially depend on individual tastes:

> When some will like to make love lying in the grass, others like to share their desires from a distance via very erotic exchanges of sexts or photos …

> When some like to make love in secret in public places, some will rather lend themselves to the game of remote masturbation by video call …

> When some like to spend hours making love in a big bed, others like to use a sex toy while saying exciting words over the phone … “I would like you to be with me, I would like you to be inside me. But you’re not here. »

It is important to be open as a couple from a distance. Rather than telling you “I want him/her” in secret, let him know you want him/her. Who knows, your partner might surprise you with a daring photo… > See our article “How to make love from a distance?”

Watch out for revenge porn!

Be careful though, and wait until you are 100% sure of your partner’s reliability before sending him such images. Often, as we want our boyfriend / girlfriend and the distance relationship does not allow us to be together physically, we would be tempted to share images or videos without thinking about the possible consequences.

Photos are easily preserved, and can be used in case of retaliation.  many exes, not happy with a separation, choose to make this type of images public out of revenge, obviously without the agreement of the person. We talk about “revenge porn”.

Sexual lack: Adult toys and applications suitable for remote sex

Well yes, distance sexuality is ultimately almost as varied as classic sexuality. The many sex toys that are sold on the market and the famous SnapChat phone application that allows you to send images or videos of limited durations have almost entirely been designed to help single people or remote couples release their sexual urges.

Did you know that some sex toys can be controlled remotely , even thousands of miles away? An additional way to have fun for two, more realistic than all the others, to remedy the sexual frustration in your relationship. Just start the video at the same time, and here are beautiful moments of complicity in perspective… which will not fail to meet your needs!

Let your imagination be free

We can buy many small sexual objects, exchange many photos, share many videos, we will always end up finding that the greatest tool of arousal and sexual stimulation remains the imagination . You may not be able to kiss or touch her body, but you can still imagine her. Imagine it hard, until he or she is physically back.

(Re)discovering pornography to fill a sexual gap as a couple from a distance

“The Internet is for porn” some will say! Even if you prefer your spouse’s body to anyone else’s, there’s nothing shameful about using pornography to combat your sexual frustration in a long-distance relationship . The resources in this area are numerous and for all tastes. Some people don’t appreciate their partner watching this type of content, so you should still discuss it . But if you know that it can channel you and keep you from thinking about being unfaithful, it can be a very good option.

The pleasure of reuniting in bed after a long-distance relationship

And when he or she is there in front of you, you will experience a much greater and deeper pleasure than any couple having regular relations. It won’t just be sex and orgasm, but rather reunion and sharing . You won’t make love by default because you have to, you will because you need it, you can’t wait, you want to do it way too much. These 2 or 3 months of abstinence and patience will give rise to 2 or 3 hours of extremely intense sexual pleasure .

And you, do you manage to manage the lack of sex caused by the long-distance relationship?

Author: Erika

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