When the other lives far away, it’s hard not to feel alone. This is one of the common problems of distance, which sometimes becomes burdensome after the first few months, especially in difficult times. Can we really manage a long-distance relationship if we live through our companion? And even more, how to find the balance to enjoy spending time with your other half without becoming dependent on them and isolating yourself from the world around you? Some advice so that love from a distance is not synonymous with loneliness.
How to manage the loneliness felt in love from a distance?
Find a balance within the couple to feel less isolated
In a couple, the most important thing is balance. You have to know how to love each other, have fun, argue, reconcile, in short, a whole host of things. The problem is that with the distance all these notions sometimes become a little fuzzy…
For a classic couple who after a nice evening of fun at the restaurant will argue in the car there is a very good chance that the reconciliation will take place in bed. For the couple in a long-distance relationship, everything will be much faster since they are unable to go to a restaurant… But don’t worry, they will still find a way to argue! Besides this touch of humor, it is true that managing your relationship from a distance is a rather complex question , because indeed the only thing that connects us to our beloved is our telephone.
Create moments of complicity at a distance to avoid loneliness
At first, the messages are sent at a relatively impressive speed. Day or night, you always want to know where he or she is , what he or she is doing, and who he or she is with. Out of jealousy, you will tell us? Yes, but not primarily. A classic married life is built around a certain routine with key moments. Waking up and breakfast, sometimes lunch for couples who eat together, then reunions in the evening with dinner and then a long evening of relaxation (or celebration depending on the day of the week and the couple’s desires).
Communication: an unstoppable remedy against loneliness
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you have to try to follow this kind of couple routine so that you don’t lock yourself into loneliness. To do so, messages and video calls are your best allies. So try to keep in regular contact in different ways. For example, you can play games together, call each other in videoconference on Skype, send each other photos on Snapchat… There is no shortage of applications! Hearing the sound of each other’s voice on a regular basis will make you feel less alone despite the miles that separate you.
But how to stay and keep the feeling of being a couple without necessarily becoming intrusive in the life of your spouse , or even dependent on his every move?
Don’t become dependent on your long-distance boyfriend/girlfriend
You must realize that even if the kilometers separate you , the person who shares your life has the right to his moments of intimacy and cannot necessarily be listening to you 24 hours a day. You must be able to live your life and thrive alone, while keeping in the back of your mind that this person, although physically absent, is an integral part of the life you are building. Don’t live through this person.
“If you feel lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company”
Learn to feel good, even when no one is around. You never have to feel alone and isolated because your significant other will always be there for you. Again, the important thing is trust. You have to convince yourself that your significant other loves you and that he or she thinks of you as much as you think of him or her.
But you must not flourish in your life either by leaving your couple aside , at the risk of destroying everything. And yes, once again, love is a complex subject and when it is more intertwined in the distance the ways of behaving are sometimes difficult to imagine. To love and be loved without suffocating too much. Wanting to help, assist and protect without actually being able to do so. Forcing yourself to trust, while being unconsciously plagued by doubts raised by distance.
Do activities alone so that you no longer fear loneliness
Relearn to live by yourself, and you will no longer feel isolated! Do things that excite you, that give you enthusiasm. Is there a project that you have always wanted to carry out? Getting into cooking classes? Learn how to program? Read 10 books a month for a year?
Set yourself small (or big) challenges , and this time that you spend without anyone will no longer bring you a feeling of loneliness, but of satisfaction! Especially since in the case of group lessons for example, you will be able to meet new people with whom to share your time… and your motivation!
Loneliness, an emotion reinforced by distance
A few exchanges by SMS, about twenty videos saved on your camera roll, that’s all you have of him or her. You’ve been with him or her for over a year, yet some people still think you’re alone . Seeing the photos of your couple on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram calms you down, because it allows you to feel your couple exists, but reality often comes back to hit you when you realize that physically you are alone.
Between lack of affection, lack of sex and nostalgia for the moments spent during your last reunions, isolation is hard for many people, even the strongest. This loneliness is difficult, but it is only temporary , because very quickly you and your other half will find each other.
You will only be alone for a while
Remember that long distance love is only “long distance” so long as you can find each other. You can then live together, make up for lost time and more! It is therefore only a bad moment to pass, which will come to an end one day. Of course, when you are far from the loved one, it is difficult to put things into perspective. But give time to time , and you will see that this great experience will have been well worth being isolated for a moment to then find your other half!
And you, how do you better experience the isolation linked to long-distance love? Do you have any tips?