How to have a successful long distance relationship? 12 tips

Succeeding in a long-distance relationship is not as hard as it seems! We still have to start on the right foot. The evolution of the world obliges many couples to live separately from each other, sometimes separated by several thousand kilometers. Distance can then turn out to be a determining factor in the fulfillment or failure of the relationship… at least, that’s what the myth says about it. So how do you maintain a successful long-distance relationship? Here are some tips and tricks to fully maintain your couple and be fulfilled despite the distance.

Secrets to having a successful long-distance relationship

Tip #1: Get rid of your limiting beliefs about long-distance relationships

It may seem silly or obvious, but to embark on a successful long-distance relationship,  you have to be convinced… that it can succeed!

Many people have judgments about this type of couple, thinking that it does not work, and is doomed to failure. Believe my experience: it works. And not just for me but for thousands of couples each year who find themselves living together after years of separation. So don’t listen too much to your aunt Germaine, divorced three times, who will tell anyone who will listen that it won’t work. Nor to all the other negative people who gravitate around you: colleagues, parents, friends or whatever. After all, the advisors are not the payers. Maybe they want to help you, but who better than yourself to know what is good for you?

Instead, when in doubt, read testimonials from people for whom it has worked, talk to people who are in the same situation as you, read inspiring books… everyone has their own recipe as long as it contains the right ingredients!

Tip N°2: Believe in your partner: the importance of trust

The success of a long-distance relationship will depend above all on the trust you place in your partner! 

The most frustrating and annoying thing is not knowing what exactly is happening on the other side. Did she go out tonight? Is he really at a professional seminar? Are they just friends? She may be giving in to some guy’s advances or even getting off on it. Stop making up your mind. All this is surely only the fruit of your imagination. You will only hurt yourself by imagining negative things and scenarios. Trust him , because just letting yourself know that his or her partner will never cheat will keep you calm.

Rest assured, trust is considered the basis of any long-term relationship . Even if some long-distance couples end up using solutions close to espionage (!) such as GPS tracking applications or the sharing of their respective messaging systems, we do not recommend this solution at all, which proves to be toxic. And inefficient: just like the parental control we could have when we were children, there are always tricks to circumvent these solutions in one way or another! It is therefore better to bet on a common trust that will carry you further , of which you can both be proud.

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Tip N°3: See the positive (because there are some!)

Love from a distance is also good! It may happen that the distance also allows you to take care of your personal projects a little more . For example, we sometimes need time and concentration for our studies or other professional tasks. you can also allow yourself to take more time for yourself, to play sports, relax, go out with friends, spend time with your family, or just to watch TV shows that your partner would not have liked . No need to wax, argue over what to watch on Netflix, or think while shopping!

All these little things contribute to your personal fulfillment as much as your partner, and the more fulfilled you are, the more you will have to bring to him! In short, a win-win relationship.

In cases of couples who previously had a life together and find themselves estranged from each other, the distance will be something that may be difficult to get used to. But tell yourself that after all, it will not last forever and you will find a way to see each other again quickly. Focusing on the positive will keep your relationship going despite the distance in bad times. Plan for this and make your reunion intense and above all unforgettable moments. Also know that distance can positively impact your relationship. In other words, it can be part of the trials that will only strengthen your couple.

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Tip N°4: Be patient and remember the essentials

Sometimes, overwhelmed, you will want to give up , you may say to yourself “what’s the point, it surely won’t work”. Sometimes we even catch ourselves being jealous of our friends in more traditional relationships, who have the opportunity to see each other every day. Never forget that you if you got into a relationship with this person, it was for excellent reasons. One must keep. Remember her qualities, think of everything you like about her , all your common points, already imagine your life together. If it helps, write it all down on paper. Yes right now ! Then look at your notes and ask yourself:

Am I ready to put all that aside rather than wait a bit?

Be patient, his hugs will come back to you. Know that a relationship is maintained just like a flower that is watered. And yes, it takes time. So keep hope for each other and you will see that it will work out.

Tip #5: Stay in regular contact

Like trust, communication is an important part of a relationship. A couple that doesn’t talk often enough risks breaking up over time. It’s not a few thousand kilometers, nor the jet lag or even an ocean that will prevent you from communicating! No more handwritten letters that we sent to each other and which, at the risk of not reaching the recipient, could take forever to arrive. Text each other, make calls as often as possible , because it keeps you close. Let’s forget the famous “out of sight, out of mind” and stick to the logic of “out of sight close to the heart”: we may not see a person often, but always have him in our thoughts.

Sometimes you won’t have anything special to say to each other, and that’s okay. Every little gesture counts: a “good morning” in the morning, a little compliment, an anecdote, a thought, a selfie, an “I love you”… these are all the little things that will make your long distance relationship successful. So don’t skimp on these little touches ! Getting along on Skype or over the phone at least once a week is equally important. It’s a moment that allows us to find ourselves as a couple , to hear the laughter of his girlfriend / boyfriend, his language tics, his expressions…

Tip #6: Don’t neglect your sex life

It is often said that the lack of sexual activity can be catastrophic for a relationship, and the loving distance becomes heavy. Not seeing or feeling each other can be difficult for two people who love each other , because physical closeness is essential.

Once again in this context of a couple at a distance, new technologies are helping us to fill this void almost entirely: to go the distance, send each other erotic text messages, intimate photos , or even intimate videos. If you venture there, however, be careful never to put your face on this type of photos: even if you are happy with your partner today, he should not distribute them a few years later in the event of breaking up! You can also why not try remote-controllable sex toys , which are sure to spice up your life as a couple.

Also take advantage of your phone calls to give way to your imagination and express your desire by raising the temperature… We give you more advice here on how to make love from a distance .

Tip N°7: Organize reunions regularly

This advice may seem as paradoxical as it is crucial for a successful long distance relationship . Of course you have to know how to be patient yes, but this patience has to lead to something so that the wait is not in vain. Plan your next vacation already, and organize it together : this way you will both be involved in this future stay. Even if it doesn’t seem like fun, organizing this trip will allow you to be more together and closer. I myself lived this experience with my other half!

Of course, for budget reasons or professional and family constraints, it can be difficult to see each other often. There is no “right frequency” for long distance couples, no law that says you absolutely have to see each other every two months or every two weeks. There were times when we weren’t able to see each other for 6 months, and while that might seem like a stretch for traditional couples, we both knew it was worth it and we went the distance. Just try never to be in the dark, to always have a date planned. This will give you a course to hold a goal! This is one of the keys to long distance relationship success.

Tip : When you see each other, don’t forget to take pictures. You will be happy to have them when you are at a distance

Tip N°8: Plan together to go further in your relationship

To be successful in a long-distance romantic relationship, it is also important for a couple to have a common vision or the same prospects for the future . It’s always good to support each other in your projects, so make plans for the future together. Project yourself into the future, give everyone the best of yourselves, it’s reassuring. The perfect relationship or the perfect couple is not impossible. It is your joint contribution that perfects the couple.

Talk about your personal projects, which could well become joint projects. Do you want to go around the world? Have children ? Going to live in Mexico? To change job ? Invest in a house? Adopt an animal? Get into dancing? Write a book ? Create a blog ? Starting a business together? Allow yourself to dream, and include your partner in these projects. discuss it together! Who knows, maybe your boyfriend or your girlfriend has the same desires as you, and it could lead to a great adventure. Discovering the dreams of your better half also allows you to know her much better, and to perceive her in a new light.

Tip N°9: Watch over your partner from a distance

Sometimes you will have moments of less well. I have a secret: your boyfriend or girlfriend too. So try to be attentive to your partner’s needs, to be present in his moments of doubt, his difficulties… a successful couple is an association of two people who are happy with each other. Show yourself to listen, seek to understand him/her, prove that you can be of real support . Even if you are not in the same room.

Most of the time, a problem is not solved with hugs, but with careful listening and the right words. Be this pillar on which he/she can count. Share their joys and sorrows. Loving each other for better or for worse, that’s what a functional couple is. If you make an effort, your partner will too.

Tip N°10: Be honest, even about what is disturbing!

Just as it’s important to be able to trust your partner, be totally honest and don’t feel like you have to hide less pleasant topics. If you try to avoid tensions at all costs, it will end up playing tricks on you!  Rather than accumulating the unsaid as one would accumulate dirty dishes in a sink , we must solve the problems one by one, even those which do not seem to have a big importance but which work for us.

Without this crucial communication in a relationship, you risk feeling suffocated or unhappy in the long run. So take the time to explain the problems if there are any, for example:

– I would like us to talk more
– You know, I feel sad because of X
– I doubt our relationship
– I find your message a bit aggressive…

Identifying problems and looking for solutions is nothing more than a calibration necessary for the maintenance of the couple over the long term. This is an important step in reaching further.

Tip N°11: Don’t let routine set in

Just like in classic couples, monotony can quickly set in . To avoid it, treat yourself to surprises , try new activities together. For example :

  •  Play a video game together
  •  Tell stories (real or fictional)
  •  Try couple apps
  •  Watch the same movie at the same time
  •  Read the same book at the same time and share your opinion
  •  Give yourself challenges
  • Send a gift or letter by post
  • Visit him by surprise
  • Hiding little notes in his belongings when we visit him
  • Send each other videos or playlists that we liked

All these little attentions will allow you to renew your love on a daily basis and let the person know how much you care for them.

[Bonus] Tip #12: Seek advice from people who have had a successful long-distance relationship themselves

Might as well be honest. When I was myself in a long-distance relationship, it was difficult for me to know who to turn to! I didn’t know any couple around me who were going through the same situation… so I created the content I would have liked to receive (and yes, it starts with this blog): a series of 7 totally free emails directly inspired by our story of torque. You will discover our best advice, but also our mistakes and our difficulties to keep when we lived apart. Do not hesitate to register, no spam, we promise!

And you, what are your secrets to keep your relationship at bay?

Author: Erika

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