Dispute and long-distance relationship: what to do?

It is already difficult to overcome a face-to-face argument. In a remote relationship, it’s a real challenge! Rather than trying to avoid them, it is better to try to pass these tests with flying colors!

Dealing with disputes remotely

Disputes, a necessary step for the couple

Contrary to popular belief, arguments within a couple are normal , and happen to everyone (even if not everyone admits it)

They can even be beneficial if they bring about real change and get things moving. A problem that was actually solved during an argument will not come back into your conversations anytime soon, and you can both be calm about it! In which case an argument will just be considered as an exercise – not the funniest – after which your relationship will be strengthened.

What is a long distance relationship problem?

In my opinion, a problem is only really a problem when it cannot be solved.

That is to say if it corresponds to one of these two scenarios:

  1.  If it is an action anchored in the past with a heavy impact of consequences, definitive and not rectifiable (for example a deception, a lie…)
  2.  If the person is not ready to change their behavior so that the problem does not occur in the future . It will then be a recurring problem that will consume your time and energy little by little. (for example, a person who refuses to work on himself to be less angry, less possessive, less jealous…)

Resolving the problem at the source of the dispute: not always easy

In some cases we would really like to solve a problem that concerns us, but we don’t know how to do it, we are confused . In this case, it is better to consult a psychology professional who can give you tips and keys to modifying your behavior.

 

Learn to be patient in resolving conflicts

Also learn to give your partner time to work through a problem when you feel they are sincerely working on themselves to end it. if this is possible for you without being draining, accompany him in this effort and give him advice.

Take a step back on yourself

It’s important that you also take a step back from your own behavior, especially if you know deep down that your attitude is the source of a problem. When a couple’s argument arises, both partners are usually responsible , in different proportions. Which means that both people involved in the distance relationship have to review their behavior

Communication, the key to resolving disputes in a long-distance relationship

As I often say, communication is key. When there is argument there is disagreement, and everyone feels that their values ​​are not respected . It’s all about knowing why! To do this, you have to try to understand the person as well as possible, and to ignore their own feelings and preconceived ideas. It’s good for your personal development and it’s good for the relationship.

 

Most important advice in case of a dispute

It is important to face problems and not run away from them,  even if it is particularly easy in a long-distance relationship: we would be tempted not to answer calls, to hang up when the tone rises or to turn off our laptop and his PC and store them carefully in a cellar without a network to hide in the sand. But this solution is neither courageous nor useful! Take your responsibility in one hand, your courage in the other, and rather than avoiding the problem, fight it head on . Never forget that your boyfriend or your girlfriend is not your enemy but your ally in solving this problem: so you don’t have to be afraid of them.

Frequent arguments and long-distance relationship

The reason for frequent and repeated arguments is most often one and the same problem that comes up again and again because it has not been resolved.

In this case, you will quickly notice that the conversation becomes useless : if you have already addressed the problem at length several times, that you have found solutions and that these have not been applied,  it is because one of you is refusing to change.

In this case, the source of the dispute will sooner or later resurface, and damage your relationship. Don’t spend all your energy and time on the same arguments over and over again.  if this problem really cannot be solved despite the intervention of a therapist, considering a breakup may be the best solution.

And you, what advice would you give to overcome arguments in a long distance relationship?

Author: Erika

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *