Containment & Remote Couple: Our Advice after 1 month apart

Today we decided to write a more personal article than usual, and to break the silence. Quentin and I have been like many separated couples for 1 month now, each with their respective families. The time of confinement, the distance is stronger than ever. The person responsible is on everyone’s lips and as this coronavirus rages, our daily lives are turned upside down. Is this a reason to put our couple aside? Far from there ! 

Our 6 Tips after 1 month of confinement (Coronavirus)

Even if one might think that confinement, long-distance relationships do not mix well, this is an opportunity to strengthen your couple to go through all the hardships. Here are some tips from our own experience, which help us to keep going on a daily basis. we hope that this modest contribution can make your confinement and your spirit lighter.

Maintaining the couple, differently

A distance couple lives at a different pace from a classic couple , and flourishes differently : No, as long as the confinement lasts, you will not be able to escape to the restaurant to change your daily life, to escape for a weekend. , nor settle your quarrels in the bedroom. 

But you can build yourself other memorable and surprising moments: a candlelit dinner by videoconference, hot calls and sensual text messages, an escapade around an online game, a contest of cabins to make in your living room made of odds and ends. and brac… Reinvent your couple even from a distance with your craziest ideas! 

It may sound absurd to you, but a beautiful moment is one that is remembered years later. And it’s those little moments of originality that mark our minds most deeply: After all, do you honestly remember every time you went to a restaurant together? No ? What about your moments of madness?

The magic of the couple lies in these little novelties. And who knows, maybe it will give a new dynamic that will continue after the confinement?

“Containment” does not mean “Abstinence”!

Let’s be honest: sex is one of the reasons that makes it so hard to be in a long distance relationship during the time of confinement. But this can still be an opportunity to try new things! 

Even if we don’t have a magic recipe, connected sex toys help us a lot to hold on, since it’s by far the closest thing to making love . The idea: They are remotely controllable, and even interact with each other… If one picks up the pace, the other feels it instantly, and vice versa. The good surprise: they are still delivered for the moment by most brands, and in particular Lovense which is our great favorite in this area.

And then, even during reunions, this type of toy is still useful… and brings a bit of fantasy and spice to your sex life. That said, even if the sensations of these technological jewels are incredible, they have a cost, and some will prefer to stick to sexts, “hot” calls or even videos. The main thing is to keep a link!

Discover our 2020 guide to the best connected sex toys here

Learn to be yourself, alone

It is often terrifying to be alone, especially when we are used to sharing our life with someone.

A couple is simply 2 people who love each other and decide to live a piece of life together, a common adventure. But no matter how much you love each other, sometimes, like right now, you will have to live apart. It is therefore essential to learn to be alone in a healthy way, without sinking into ill-being.

Someone said to me one day: “ If you feel alone when you are alone, it is because you are in bad company ”… and that was very true. 

I realized that I was living in expectation of being able to spend time with my spouse. I suffered disproportionately when I was left on my own, and realizing this phenomenon of emotional dependence helped me a lot to get out of it.

The feeling of loneliness is common in long-distance relationships. If you suffer from it, I encourage you to devote time to activities: learn new things, perfect an art you already know. 

This brings a real boost to morale, and has good repercussions on a couple, especially when they live at a distance: you have more things to talk about, are more playful, and less glued to your partner! Take advantage of confinement to learn not to make your happiness depend on others.  It will serve you all your life. 

Remember that this experience is unique and temporary

Confinement, for a couple not living together, is difficult to manage emotionally. You don’t have to blame yourself for being scared, for being worried, for being a little lost. Covid-19 has turned our lives upside down. It is important to keep hope, to remember that your relationship will not be separated forever. 

We live in historic times, and you don’t have to blame yourself for not feeling comfortable as a couple from a distance : indeed it’s not easy, but it’s worth it! take refuge in photos of your loved one, in your memories, and tell yourself that everything will eventually return to normal.

Everyone has their recipe for worrying: meditation apps, horoscopes, long discussions on the phone… find the one that suits you.

Plan for post-lockdown

Do you have ambitions for after confinement? No matter where you are in your relationship, a little thought never hurts. Maybe you’ve been talking about moving abroad, getting married, having a child, or just going on vacation for years. Where are you in this project? Remember to ask yourself about the subject, and already start planning things. 

For example, if you had planned a road trip in the United States, you can already plan the stopover cities that you would absolutely like to visit.

If you’re planning on moving in together or moving house, you can take the time to put away and sort your things as much as possible.

If your couple has been struggling for several months already, take advantage of being separated from your boyfriend or girlfriend to do some introspection and establish whether or not you want to stay, and how to improve this relationship.

Thinking about reunions and a way to maintain confinement despite remote relationships. Even if it is too early to plan dates for different events, nothing prevents you from taking the lead and refining the general idea of ​​your project! 

Confinement and couple at a distance: an “exit or double” experience

Being apart is going to put a strain on your communication, that’s for sure. But why not see this as a test of the strength of your relationship?

Of course, this vision can seem agonizing. But in any case, this experience will be favorable to you:

  • If you realize that you are definitely not made for each other , you will both have had the opportunity to take the time to reflect before agreeing to a separation. There’s nothing worse than gradually climbing the rungs of a ladder… only to realize in the end that it was leaning against the wrong wall. If it’s not the right person, it’s better to realize it as soon as possible, right?
  • If you realize that despite the distance your couple remains solid, it will confirm your plans for the future with this person. After all, if he survived confinement, what ordeal will he not be able to go through?

Do activities together remotely , try to communicate, be complicit and do your best… it could strengthen your bond far beyond what you thought possible.

Try to make the best of this situation, however uncomfortable it may be. On a relational and individual level, this coronavirus crisis has a lot to teach us. Take care of you.

And you, how do you keep the distance as a couple due to confinement? Feel free to share your tips to help others 🙂

Author: Erika

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