Breaking up from a distance with a letter is a way of showing how much we care for the other: we take the time to reveal ourselves, to explain ourselves, to express our feelings with authenticity. To write a nice letter and close this relationship in a nice way, the most important thing is to stay true. Here you will find some examples and templates of breakup letters, suitable for long-distance relationships.
3 models of separation letters (in a distance relationship or not)
Breakup letter due to distance
Sometimes two beings are perfect for each other. But their relationship is undermined by the distance… which becomes too much to bear and leads to a breakup. Breaking up because of distance and not because you have more feelings for the other happens. And for good reason: the distance is quickly heavy.
Breaking up because of the distance is difficult, because you can’t see the other to tell them face-to-face. So, how to draw up on paper this very particular situation? Here’s a sample distance breakup letter you can use as a template.
Example of a break up letter because of distance
Rémi,
You know how much I love you, and you also know how hard things have been for me lately. Loving each other without seeing each other, without speaking to each other: I would never have believed that possible. Our relationship has proven to me day after day that having a long distance relationship is possible… but also how complicated it is. Today, I’m afraid it’s really not for me.
I feel that our souls are made for each other, but the distance weighs me down and tips the balance, so much so that I see no other choice.I tried everything to ensure that our couple could work despite the separation, but today I can’t take it anymore. The days pass, and nothing indicates that we will get closer one day… I have already endured this situation for a year and a half, despite the moments of pain and doubt.
We never managed to set a date on which we could finally meet again, because we both have our share of constraints, incompatible it seems to me: you absolutely want to live close to your family and not leave your work, and you know that I’m blocked by my studies for at least 3 more years. It’s hard to project yourself like that, you know… and I don’t want a “phantom relationship” that won’t come to anything.
I think not being able to see you also makes me a little bitter: I’m angry with the world for separating us, I’m angry with couples who kiss in restaurants while I occupy a table alone … want you as much as I want myself. But maybe deep down, we just took a wrong turn at some point in our relationship. And I don’t want to stay on the wrong path forever…
That’s why I think today that it is better for our roads to separate. I really enjoyed our trip together, but it’s not for me anymore. For a long time I thought I was strong enough to overcome the distance… but the truth is that today I need something concrete. This is why breaking up seems to me to be the only solution:I need to actually live with someone, not on the end of a phone line. You are “there” without really being there, and that is no longer enough for me. I hope that we will both find a new breath, a new balance, even if we are apart.
I will always love you a little because we have gone through many hardships together. Each of these memories will continue to mean a lot to me. And I don’t know who you will become, but I’m proud to have been able to be with the person you were.
Thank you for everything,
Aurélie
toxic relationship breakup letter
Sometimes the problems are much more numerous in a couple, whether they are distant or not. Writing a breakup letter is an opportunity to clear up gray areas, and to talk about your fears and sorrows for the last time. If the relationship was toxic, this will be a difficult but crucial step.
Lack of communication, jealousy, fear of infidelity, estrangement, routine have undermined many relationships. A breakup letter can’t erase these hurts, but it will allow you to take stock, explain the reasons why you want to separate , and close a painful chapter. Here is an example!
Sample Toxic Long Distance Relationship Breakup Letter
Bastien,
do you remember our meeting? I remember everything. Of your smell, of the taste of your skin, of our kisses, of your warmth against mine. As soon as I saw you, my heart raced, my throat was knotted; I was madly in love. During all the time we spent loving each other, you always had little attentions towards me. I loved everything about you. Everything that made you unique in my eyes: your smile, the way you looked at me, your facial expressions, those that made me crack without you even being aware of it.
Unfortunately, today, our relationship continually suffers from the misunderstandings and doubts that punctuate it.I think you are aware of it, I know that I am not mistaken. Only I don’t understand what is happening to us. Why this estrangement, this distance between us? And I’m not just talking about geographic distance. I’m afraid it will turn into detachment. In love. I believe that is already happening. And it’s already too late.
You are often absent, always busy, and so distant. You don’t reply to my messages, what should I conclude? I would like to understand. Has the daily got the better of us? Is it the routine that wears us out, the boredom that awaits us? A temporary couple crisis? Your jealousy that I can’t stand anymore? Or is it deeper than that?
There was no argument. No shouting, no conflicts.Nothing of the sort. Just this distance between us and this increasingly oppressive silence. Fewer words, looks and smiles exchanged, gestures shared. Where has our complicity gone?
Lots of scenarios pop into my head, from the most banal to the most dramatic. Lassitude, boredom, infidelity, double life… But I tell myself that if it’s important, that if something serious was happening, you wouldn’t leave me like this in anguish, in the unknown. It is not possible, it cannot be otherwise. So I try not to imagine the worst. But if the fear is less great, it is nonetheless present. And I don’t want to rack my brains any longer.
Know that my love for you is always there. That I worry. That I hurt too. But above all, even if I love you, I can no longer remain in uncertainty and loneliness. I have thought carefully before making this decision to separate. I didn’t want to send you a breakup text message… I preferred to write you this separation letter to explain my decision to leave you… I hope you will understand my decision
A love like ours cannot be erased. It should not be erased. It is he who will help us to rebuild ourselves, to meet new people, to see things differently. And I hope to be happier even though we’re apart.
Today we take different paths, but that doesn’t take away from the feelings I have for you. They are real and will be forever. They will live in my heart until it stops beating. Also, shouldn’t we only keep our moments of joy to ourselves? Remember all those things we shared.
Take care,
Lisa .
Breakup letter when you no longer have feelings/when you doubt
There are many reasons to break up. The most obvious, and the least easy to manage, is probably “because we no longer have feelings”. Yet it’s also the most logical reason to break up: after all, you can’t stay with someone you don’t love anymore… or think you don’t love anymore. When you doubt your feelings, it’s never a good sign!
If you have already made the decision to separate from your boyfriend or girlfriend, remotely or not, it is possible to write a breakup letter to express your doubts about your feelings … and discuss your separation. Here is a template you can use:
Example of a breakup letter when you have more feelings
Adrien,
I know that you feared that these few words would reach you one day. But lo and behold, things have been tough lately, and they’ve put themselves to paper. If I chose to write to you, it’s so as not to leave you in doubt, not to leave you alone in the shadows with your questions. It’s to lift a veil, even if it hurts. So, hang on, please: make yourself a hot chocolate, or a tea, sit quietly on your comfy sofa, and take the time to be with me for just a few minutes.
I’m not going to take a detour: our relationship is no longer a love relationship for me… I can’t relate to it anymore emotionally.The dialogue no longer exists in our relationship. Misunderstanding and the lack of you, both emotionally and carnally, will have gotten the better of my patience. But I don’t want you to believe that the only cause is there… No, I don’t want to lie to you… I wish to be sincere with you at the end of our love story. The feelings I have for you are not enough to hold me back today. And I have the impression that they are diminishing day by day.
Maybe it’s not your fault, maybe it’s not mine: Maybe we weren’t meant for each other, maybe things are better like that. My only assurance is that, lo and behold, I searched my heart, and you weren’t there.It surprised me at first, and it scared me: I who loved you so much, I didn’t think it was possible for this feeling to fade away one day.
The time we spent together will always be in my memory because you will always be part of my life. You will remain a loved one no matter what and I sincerely hope to remain in your heart, even if I do not occupy the same place there as before. Know that I will always be there for you, in good times and in bad.
I’m leaving you, but I’m also leaving part of my story… You were my soul mate, the one I confided in… That’s important to me. I will keep an intense memory of you and our love story.
Let’s not waste our beautiful memories, let’s leave good friends. Because even if our lives take a different path, I hear that our hearts continue to beat in unison. You will always be part of me and I will only be happy knowing that you are happy on your side.
Later, much later, we will certainly be able to see each other again, and talk about the good times we had together. Until then, give the best of yourself as you have always done so well. I know you’re a fighter, so don’t give up, okay?
Good bye,
Laura
Do not hesitate to take inspiration from these 3 examples of distance separation letters, very largely inspired by the pen of our letter expert Demelza.
And you, do you have examples of breakup letters that you have written, to inspire other people?